R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize