Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
