Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
