I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
