Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
