I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I color on your dick again?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
