Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
