I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
