just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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