Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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