My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
