you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
