Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
