I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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