And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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