i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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