My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
