Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
where am i from again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
