Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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