Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
