FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
