I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
