Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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