what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
