So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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