I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
