That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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