Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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