I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
