It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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