Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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