She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
