Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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