so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
