I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
