Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
