I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
