Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
