I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
