no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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