soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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