remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
