Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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