if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So. Much. Porn.
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