Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
