did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
