return my video game
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
