these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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