I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
