you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
