The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
