Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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