she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
